You Know Your Old When...

• You have three children..
  
• You can't leave the house without visiting the potty...and that is for you..not just the kids..
  
• When you are in your pjs at 7:30 and in bed at 9pm and you consider that your ideal night....
  
• You have GINORMOUS purple bags under your eyes...that never go away. I could travel a long way with these bags....:)


• If you go out to eat, you tell your husband you need to leave and be at the place at 4:30pm because it just gets too crowded after that...


• you just can't believe "what high school girls are wearing these days..." ( boy, I sound like my mom!)


• the one night you stay up past midnight you pay for it the rest of the week...


• And you realize you have no life outside of Facebook. (Yes...I admit...sometimes I get obsessed with reading People.com or Facebook so I can read about other people having a life....ha!)
  
  

Ok..I admit it. It has taken me about 1 1/2 now to actually admit it. Here it goes....I.AM.THIRTY.YEARS.OLD. Wow...that was hard to say. I have been dreading this birthday for a long time. And it came on May 1st...and it has just taken me this long to come to grips with it. I had decided I will forever be in my 20's but then looking at my life and my list above, it appears I could pass for well.....an 80 year old!! Oh well...they say that the thirties is the new twenties. Let's hope that's the case.

I do have to say that my husband gave me the best birthday I have had in a long time though. I woke up, greeted with kisses from my 3 girls (that's enough to make my day!) and my handsome hubby. Then Steve gave me my cards with a schedule of my day. He had planned it all out...every minute and every dollar!! :) First up...a massage and facial that was to last all morning. He gave me a giftcard for those that even included the tip on it so I wouldn't have to worry about a thing. What man thinks of these things?!?!!!! The massage and facial was divine!! 2 hours of total relaxation. That hasn't happened in a long time. Then shopping with my sister in law for the rest of the afternoon. Shopping without kids...well that is enough to put me in heaven!! :) Then at 4pm I was to be back at the house because he had a little surprise party for me! He had it all decorated--balloons, etc. Except..it was all in black! :)

I kept calling turning 30 the day of mourning, and he, of course took it to the next level. Ummm...take a look at this cake he ordered for me:

A Coffin cake! How awesome is that?! And it was Red Velvet which is one of my very favorite flavors! It was so much fun! We had a great time, and Steve went over and beyond for me. I love that man so much. Now I have got to get thinking about his 30th birthday. Now that I am "his Old woman", I have a lot to live up to! :) HA!

In all honesty though, turning 30 has been a hard one for me. 30 sounds so old to me. And I really realized how quickly life is going by (not to be a Debby Downer or anything! HA!). I have heard that people generally feel a lot more "settled" in their 30's. And I am hoping that is the case. I have felt very unsettled these past few years. And I am not totally sure why. I sure love being a Mom to my three beautiful girls and I wouldn't ask for anything else. There is nothing greater then that. But to the outside world and those who have never been a stay at home Mom, they may feel that I haven't accomplished much in life (in material standpoints anyway). I am 30 years old...never have been incredibly established in a career, never have had the time to volunteer extensively, never had time to write my book (ha!), and don't even have the time to take a nap although every day I desperately want to! So what does my resume look like? Well...let's just say to the average hiring manager in this economy....well, I may barely get a second look. That's right...I have a masters in mental health counseling, a 4 year college degree, and a couple of years experience working in that field...but it has been many years. Now my resume would look more like this:

_____________________________________________________________

OBJECTIVE:

To get through the day without losing my patience, getting poop on my hands, actually getting to eat a hot meal, and fitting a shower in somewhere.

EDUCATION:

Honey...I got as much education as I needed on these dates:

May 14, 2004

Feb. 25, 2007 and

Sept. 29, 2009

Passed these books with flying colors:

The Hungry Caterpillar

I Love You Forever

Good Night Moon

Llama Llama Red Pajama

WORK HISTORY:

2004 to present - COOK

I cook everything from hamburger helper to macaroni and cheese..and the occasional pacifier that I forgot I left in the pot. I have dealt with very difficult "customers" which in turn has made me very creative in "hiding ingredients" into your normal every day kinds of food. My philosophy..if you don't eat it, you go hungry. This realization and "rule" I set has helped establish consistency and order in my kitchen.

2004 to present - MAID

To avoid killing myself on Barbie's head on the foot of the stairs, I am constantly picking up toys that are flippantly thrown about the house. This goes from the occasional teddy bear to the maxi pad box that was found in the master bathroom that made it's way to the front door. I am skilled in all kinds of removal services: stinky waste removal, crusted boogie removal, grimy hand print removal, and the bad attitude removal. I do not specialize in dust removal, however. Nor will I have anything to do with an iron.

2004 to present -TAXI DRIVER

If you have a soccer practice, soccer game, or carpool for school, I am the woman to get you there. I have set a record for delivery time-Leaving with passenger for soccer at 5:55 and arriving 10 miles later to the soccer field at 6pm. Beat that Azar (my NYC Taxi driver's name!)!!!

2004 to present - NURSE

Rectal thermometer watch out. If my baby feels a little warm, I rush to my trusty friend, the rectal thermometer and check it out. My nursing ability ranges from kissing a "boo boo" to applying pressure to the chipped tooth that is squirting out an incessant amount of blood. I can accurately describle various forms of poop, including but not limited to myconium, diarrehia, and the "whoops I ate too much food coloring" poop. I do not do throw up.

2004 to present - REFEREE

With three girls, I am quickly able to call out an INTERFERENCE as I see one. Pinpointing face masking is another speciality of mine. Fair is my name and no bull crap is my game. I am quickly called into cat fights on a daily basis which usually includes scratching, name calling, and unsportsmanlike conduct. Many pentalities are given out during a given day.

2002 to present - FINANCIAL ADVISOR

My speciality lies in budget grocery shopping while being distracted with a runaway toddler and a crying, pooping baby. Trying to stretch the dollar with coupons and knock off brands is hard, but it is rewarding. I am still working on the old budget in the area of budget mall shopping though.....

2004 to present - STORY TIME LADY

I don't even need to look at the pages of the book, Llama Llama Red Pajama to tell you that story. I have even discovered the art of reading a "longer" book in 2 minutes by "speed reading"...HA!

2004 to present - HAIR STYLIST

I have three girls...need I say more? I have the pig tail and the french braids down to a science.

2004 to present - FASHION ABUSER

Ok, ok...I know it's not ok to wear sweat pants in public, but they are so comfy!

REFERENCES:

Reese - age 6

Finley - age 3

Harper - age 7 months

Please notify me if you will need to contact them. I'm not sure what they would say. I would need to rehearse their response in advance. Thank you!

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:

I talk a really good baby talk. I also can scream so loud in the house that the neighbors across the street look out their windows to make sure everything is ok.

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Ok...so soooo what that in "world's standards" I have not been career successful in my thirty years. So what that I haven't used my degree to it's full potential. So what that I don't make any money. I know that I will never...and I mean never regret this time I have with my children. It goes by so fast and it is something I will never get back. I can always go back to my career when they are older, but I can never go back to helping develop and train my children when they are young. My days may seem monotonus to some. My days my seem insignificant to others most days. But to me...they are fleeting. They are glorious. For God has given me the best responsibility I could have ever asked for in my 30 years. Raising children. Have I accomplished a lot in 30 years? That would be three YES'S--Those three sets of blue eyes that peer up at me and tell me how much they love me every day. I am a rich 30 year old woman!