My TO DO List...

I feel like I live a life of chaos. I don’t know what one hour holds to the next. And if any of you know me, organization is not a real talent in my life. Well…let me rephrase that. I do NOT like to organize. As much as I hate to admit it, I will never be like some of you who may read this that in their spare moments are reorganizing that same toy bin that they did last week. And to be honest with you, I found this NEW revelation about myself quite startling. See…I would love to be organized. I would LOVE to feel like I “have it all together.” I would love to find that one kitchen utensil I know I used last week! There is this inner part of my personality that wants to be organized.

Since we have moved, I have felt overwhelmed. I feel as if I am swimming in boxes, paint cans, and my own anatomy of self-defeat. My thought process is…If only I was more organized, this would be a lot easier. So one night Steve and I were lying in bed drifting off into “lala” land and ALAS…I came up with this NOVEL idea—creating a TO-DO list. Now, I have never been much of a “list” person in my life unless it consisted of “my dream man” or “foods I want to eat in my lifetime”. I always felt like TO DO lists were so demanding. So inhibiting. It was like the notebook became my Momma and I was 6 years old again. See not even a NOTEBOOK was going to tell me what to do that day. It was better if “I just thought of it” and did the action…kind of like I was going the extra mile that day. But I figured that wasn’t working since I was so desperate. I WAS GOING TO BE MORE ORGANIZED. I WAS GOING TO STOP FEELING OVERWHELMED. I was going to try this list thing.

Right then and there, I turned on the light and got my pen and started writing down the things I have been needing to get done that I was determined to do today. Steve groaned, “Can your number 1 TO DO thing be turn off the light please?”

“Honey, organized people must not fall asleep at 10:15pm. They need to prepare for the day ahead. “ I shushed him off. Now where was I….oh yes…my list.

Here is what my TO DO list consisted of today:

*Pick up downstairs
*Clean kitchen thoroughly
*Clean downstairs bathroom
*Wash the poop stain blouse Harper initiated on me
*Launder the whites
*Take Harper to the Dr.
*Ask the Dr. if I could give Harper even a little sip of whiskey to help her sleep at night. (Ha! Just kidding!)
*make my bed
*Fold those clean clothes that have been sitting in my laundry room for a week
*Clean the toothpaste spit from the girl’s bathroom sink
*clean that ol’ crusted pee on the girl’s bathroom toilet
*Eat…(well I really didn’t think I would forget this, but I want to be organized…and heaven help me if I didn’t put time in for this…)
*Call about Reese’s soccer uniform
*Oh and if all things above get done…go outside and play with Finley

Whew..I felt good about my list. I did a little math and figured if I got up at 6am, and went to bed at 11pm…this list would get done! YES! And then a little time for my closet show..(shh…don’t tell..I’m embarrassed to admit…Gossip Girl!). I felt so good about the new and organized me. These TO DO lists were A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. I felt sorry I had bad mouthed them all these years…. This new list was going to point me to success in homemaking!

Then I woke up. My alarm went off at 6….and then 6:10….then 6:20. You get the idea. But I did get out of bed at 6:30 as soon as I remembered my list. I started off so gallantly. Making my bed…getting ready..getting the girls ready…getting to Harper’s Dr.’s appt. And then well…things happened. So since I was on a “list” kick, I wrote down what I actually did…

-Made my bed
-fed Harper
-went to Dr.’s appt to only find out that Harper is SPOILED and needs to stop sleeping in her carseat
-fed Harper
-Went to Target (sure that wasn’t on my list above..and neither was spending the $50 that I did…but it would have been on my list sometime in the week…I am sure of that…)
-Fed Harper
-Painted my toenails (since the weather is getting nicer…this moved to a P.R.I.O.R.I.T.Y. HORRORS if I so happened to wear flip flops these next couple of days with winter toes…NO way..not going to do it. GROSS. )
-Played Soccer with Finley outside. It was gorgeous today…I couldn’t pass it up.
-fed Harper
-daydreamed about decorating for Easter and what to have for Easter dinner (yeah…I’m working on this organizing thing…I like to wait til last minute).
-Fed Harper

Ok..so maybe that is NOT ALL I did today…and I did realize…that baby LOVES to eat. No wonder she is a chunk of munk! Or an emotional eater like her momma. Anyway…my TO DO List today turned into a TO DO list tomorrow. Or wait….

Maybe I shouldn’t be measuring my success in “homemaking” or motherhood by what I DO that day…but the interactions I build that day. Sure List making for some people is the best thing they could do. It’s a great tool…and I need to utilize it more. But I resign the fact that I won’t be or never will be one of these super organized individuals or these super moms who have it all together. List making to me is still a little too confining. Since I didn’t get all my “TO DO’s” done, I felt like a failure. But really…was I?

I was able to have a picnic with the sweetest 3 year old in town. I was able to cuddle and kiss my way too big 6 month old. I was able to kick the soccer ball with my little ball of energy. There still is poop on my favorite blouse. Those clothes still need to be folded. I still DON”T feel organized.

But was today a success? The bed was made. Was today a success? I was able to enjoy God’s beauty, who He is. Was today a success? By the way of those sweet kisses Finley just gave me a….I would say…YES…it was a success.